after being 85% on plan all week, i was excited for my weigh in today. i literally leaped out of bed and onto the scale. and you know what i found there? 148.2 lbs. - a weight much higher than i was aiming for. sure, it's a loss of 0.6 lbs., and i know what they say, "a loss is a loss", but i don't feel good about that number at all. it's strange how a few pounds can make such a difference. whenever i'm over 147 lbs., i always feel uncomfortable in my body.
however, i realize there are probably several reasons for why i didn't see the scale move more: (1) i was sick for most of the week, so i was only able to squeeze in 2 workouts, (2) saturday night (enough said), and (3) haven't been eating enough protein. i know what i have to do this week. here's my plan of attack:
monday - run for 30 - 40 mins. (3 - 4 activity points)
tuesday - yoga for 90 mins. (3 activity points), possibly gym (see what my friends are doing)
wednesday - day off
thursday - run for 30 - 40 mins. (3 - 4 activity points)
friday - yoga for 90 mins (3 activity points), gym
saturday - yoga for 90 mins (3 activity points), gym
sunday - day off
now, this is going to be a lot of exercise and at times i'm going to hurt a lot. but i have to remember that there's a difference between discomfort and pain - push through the discomfort and stop when there's pain. if i pace myself i know i can do it. also, it's exams for us here at uni and since i only have 1 exam (in my easiest course, might i add), i'm sure i'll have the time to focus this much on exercise.
yesterday i went to the local yoga studio and signed up for the beginner's package - unlimited classes for 1 week for $20 cdn. aaamazing. the class i went to yesterday was called "hip hop yoga". kind of a weird concept - this special teacher comes in and all of the poses are done to late 90s rap. last summer i went to yoga about once a week at a studio close to my work. it was great, i really loved it. i'm glad that i'm getting back into it. thanks to pom for her post about yoga - it was the push i needed to get out there and get sweating.
but before i sign off, there's something i need to address: my insecurities surrounding weight post-bf. i've really noticed a difference in my thinking over the past 2 weeks or so. i've noticed my thoughts slowly becoming more and more weight focused. yes, to a certain extent this is because i'm slightly heavier than usual. but i also think a lot of it is due to my recent singleness. ah, i hate to say this, but at times i catch my inner voice repeating this awful line: "you have to be thinner for guys to like you." yes, it's that bad. i need to put a stop to it. recently i've found myself comparing my body to those of other girls' my age. at yoga, for example, i couldn't stop looking in that effing wall mirror at all of their tight bodies. i was jealous! actually! i also need to stop thinking that my new mission in life is to find another boy. after all (and i say this often to remind myself), i broke up with matt because i wanted to be my own person. these thoughts show me that i truly have to focus on myself - and i don't mean my looks. i have to focus on standing on my own two feet once and for all.