today was weigh in day. recall that on thursday morning i weighed 147.0 lbs. however, when i stepped on the scale this morning i weighed a staggering 152.7 lbs.! yikes! i don't even remember the last time my weight was this high. how can i have gained 5.2 lbs. over the course of 3 days? how is that even possible? i'm hoping that the gain is largely due to water retention, but who knows. god, i feel miserable about this.
what makes it worse is that i'm hoping to shed a few pounds before i leave for my trip on may 8th. i can't let this let diversion get in my way - 3 days is not the end of the world. i can get through this little blip (positive self talk, positive self talk, ...) doesn't help that my self esteem has reached all time lows thanks to this weekend's events.
so what am i going to do about this? i'm going to start my very own 23 day challenge. nothing is going to get in my way - university is done, i'm moving out in a week or so, and all of my toronto friends still have exams. let's call my challenge, um, i need a name... ah yes, "dbc's pick yourself up out of the gutter and get moving 23-day challenge". notice how i don't make mention to my trip or trying to look hot or anything like that. right now i'm thinking of weight loss as a means to end - and that end is to get rando dudes to like me (and by like, i mean want to pick me up at the bar... sure, too much information, but the truth of the matter nonetheless). i have to shed this mindset. i want to start thinking about weight loss as a means of improving myself - eating better, exercising more often and effectively, trying new things (foods, group classes, etc.). my mantra going forward is, "i'm doing this for me, and no one else." not even you - asshole boy who rejected me at the bar! f*ck y'all, i'm shedding these pounds to make me feel better, so there - nah!
now that we're all thoroughly impressed by my maturity, allow me to share my plan with you:
1. follow weight watchers. yes, i'm tempted to try other "faster acting" plans, but i know that they won't work. i want this weight loss (however minor it may be in just 23 days) to be permanent. i want to have my healthy habits set in stone by the time i leave - binging on delicious asian food while away = not on plan
2. reduce daily points to 24. normally i adjust my daily point values to be 25, but for these 23 days i'm going to do exactly what the site tells me -and today it told me to eat 24 points per day (normally 23 - ouch that hurts!)
3. work out minimum of 5 times a week. and try different exercises too! incorporate more weight training and yoga (both for the peace of mind and health benefits)
4. post progress on blog each day. you'll soon notice a new sidebar dedicated to my challenge. watch it as i tackle this baby head on
5. do not get drunk. you hear me? that's right, i am not getting drunk once in these 23 days. i'd love to say no drinking altogether but i know that's unrealistic for me. instead, 2 - 3 drinks when i got out max. none of this binge drinking and throwing myself at randos business. nu uh - i'm done with that (at least until australia...) i'm trying to solve all of my post-break up problems at the bar and - get this - it's not working. i need some quality sober time
6. taking a page out glams book here, but on the morning of may 8th, my 24th day on plan, i'm going to post a picture of myself in a bikini. on this very website. with the caption "i did it!" no ifs, ands, or buts about. this sh*t is going down
also, you may have noticed my self deprecating post last night and thought to yourself, "geeze, why is this chick such a debbie downer"? well, i'll tell you straight up that i got shut down on saturday night. cute guy, known him for a while now, just wasn't into me. i put myself out there for the first time since matt, and i got slapped in the face (not literally). and it suuucks. i felt horrible about myself. even now when i look back on it i get this awful sinking feeling in my stomach (ok, guess the "even now" bit wasn't necessary - this did just happen on saturday). ahhh well, live and let live. i've learned some lessons from this one and they will not be soon forgotten.
i have about 7.5 hours of school left - project due at 5 pm - so i should probably get down to it. god, can't wait for school to be over. it's such a drag.
here's to my new challenge! i know i can do it.