i woke up today feeling like absolute crap. i still feel like absolute crap. and you know what? i'm not going to start feeling better any time soon, as i have a massive project due tomorrow at 5 pm. great, just great.
my weekend has been wild. in fact, some might even say too wild. i went out on both friday and saturday and had wayyy too much to drink on both nights. i don't know how to say this, don't even really know if i want the entire blog world to know, but i was so desperate for male attention i did some pretty stupid things. don't worry - nothing got too scandalous. but i put myself out there and got shut down pretty hard. and it sucks. my self esteem is in the gutter right now. i don't know how to pick it back up, so of course i've resorted to mcdonald's to soothe my frustrations. obviously that's not helping anything at all.
i hate that i'm so boy-crazy right now - that i've become so desperate for male attention that i'll compromise myself to get it. ugh! i've never been like this before. i don't know what my problems is. and i'm just so effing embarrased. ugh, should get back to work on my project, but i really need to vent. i feel so miserable. ugh! i know i will get through this, that this is just a symptom of the post break up jitters. i know, i know. but i hate feeling this way.