Monday, May 12, 2008

on the other side of the world

have to keep this post quick, as it's very late here in asia. yup, you heard me right - i'm in asia and have been for the past few days! posting will be very sporadic for the next 3 months, as i will be focusing on my travels as opposed to my eating.

Monday, May 5, 2008

emotional eating at its finiest

i'm having a really rough go of it food wise. i mean, a really rough go of it. i can't seem to stop stuffing my face with whatever is lying around the house - ice cream, chocolate chips, cookies, fresh bread, etc. and yes, it really is that bad! i'm very nervous for my trip and am eating to calm my nerves. being at home just makes it so easy to fall of the bandwagon! usually when i feel this way i talk to my mom or call a friend. but lately my mom and i have been on bad terms (which is only fuelling my food obsession) and i feel as though i can't call my friends because i don't want to draw attention to the fact that i'm going on this crazy trip. so what do i do? i just eat and eat and eat some more. i feel really horrible about myself right now.

i've been off track the past 3 days. i was so good today until after dinner, when i binged on left overs, ice cream, chooclate chips, and arrow root cookies. god, why do i do this to myself? i feel absolutely horrible right now. at least i went for a long run today (40 mins).

i think i'm going to try to talk to my mom about it. hopefully she'll understand. and i want to get back on track right now. not tomorrow, or the next day. right now. doesn't matter when i leave, i have to do this to feel better about myself right now.

i'm going to take down my tracker on the side - it upsets me to think that i wasn't able to follow through on my goals! one day at a time. one hour at a time. hell, one minute at a time if that's what it takes.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

menu as promised

woohoo! i did it - managed to stay on plan all day, get to the gym for some cardio, and resist the cookies my sister baked this afternoon (another one of the joys of being home). it's smooth sailing here on out...

1/2 cup fat-free yogurt (1)
1/2 cup nature's path flax plus flakes (0.5)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened raspberries (0)
6 crushed dry roasted almonds (no salt) (1)

snack 1
1 medium orange (1)

1 can water-packed tuna (3)
1 tbsp. light mayo (1)
2 slices weight watchers bread (1)
lettuce, tomato, cut up veggies (0)

snack 2 - pre workout
1/2 medium banana (1)

28 mins. running inside (just over 3.0 miles) (3)
20 mins. stationary bike (just over 6.5 miles) (1)
5 mins. ab work (0)

snack 2 - post workout
1/3 cup quaker 1-minute oats (2)
1 1/2 tsp. natural peanut butter (1)
1/4 cup 1% milk in tea (0.5)

3 oz. lean flank steak (4) --> ok, ok, there are some perks to being home
1 medium sweet potato (2) cooked in 1 tsp. olive oil (1)
1 cup steamed broccoli (0)
1/2 grapefruit (1)

daily totals
total daily points used is 21
total activity points earned is 4
points remaining is 3, including activity points is 7

must calm these nerves...

first of all, quick update on the goals i set out for myself yesterday. was doing great until i found out the friend i was planning on tackling hong kong with is now leaving the city earlier than expected, giving me a day or two on my own. now, if this was australia, sure, ditch me at the last second. still being a dick, but i can get by. hong kong, however? that's more intimidating. anyways, when i found this news out i pretty much dove into the pail of chipits my mother keeps around the house for baking (one of the many joys of living at home). and no, didn't stop there - i just ate and ate and ate all night. probably the worse binge session i've had in over a year. so frustrating! but i know exactly why i did it: i'm getting nervous for my trip and am trying to comfort myself with chocolate and chips and pizza and... (yes, it was that bad) note to self: i'm still nervous and now i feel like a cow, too. great, just great.

yet, one positive thing did come out of this experience. i remembered that one of my friends from high school is in hong kong right now and sent her a quick email letting her know the situation. i just got an email back from her saying that she would be more than happy to show me around those days. thank you, buddha!

just finished the book "eat, pray, love" and have to say wasn't overly thrilled with it. i really enjoyed the chapter on india, and the chapter in italy was cute, but the last chapter just pissed me off. don't want to say too much here as to avoid giving away the ending, but i was not impressed. haha, guess i'm still a little bitter... (those of you who have read the book know what i'm talking about)

have, have, have to go to the gym today. i'm getting really lazy about it. and i've decided to change my "23 day challenge" to a "1 week to go!" challenge. 23 points a day is too low for me (as evidenced by my 3 day binge fest), so i'm going to aim for 24. will post my menu at the end of the day. i have to take this 1 day at a time right now - i'm feeling slightly overwhelmed!