very short, but will write more soon

for the past 2 nights i've been having mini binge fests before i go to bed. although i have been using my flex points, i need to stop this behavior before it becomes habitual. so, to nip this in the bud, i want to set 2 goals for myself today:

1. do not go over 23 daily points
2. go to bed early (before midnight)

will write more later when i have time. off to get my shots for asia!

the tale of the malfunctionning scale

once upon a time there was a weight watchers scale. this scale wasn't like the other scales - it was digital and supposedly accurate to the first decimal place. a young twenty something used this scale once a week for about 8 months, believing her weight to be in the range of 145.0 - 153.0 lbs. this girl's roommate would sometimes use the scale, as well. she would always comment that her weight seemed higher than normal when she stepped on it, but the two of them usually chalked it up to water bloat (they were frequent sushi eaters). until one day our heroine stepped on another scale - the scale she used previous to her fancy pants one. and lo and behold she came in at just under 145 lbs. - 4.5 lbs. less than what her scale had been reading! so what did she do? well, she did what any sane body-obsessed woman would do - she forgot about the twisted scale that was making her feel like shit and lived happily ever after with the new one. the end.

so, that pretty much sums up my weigh in today. i woke up and stepped on my weight watchers scale, which read 148.7 lbs., and then stepped on my old one, which read 145.0 lbs. (actually, it read about 144.8 lbs. - sweet!). my roommate had been complaining about my old scale all year - she goes to weight watchers meetings and found that my scale would overestimate her weight by 1.0 - 4.0 lbs. i've decided to finally listen to her and forget about ye old scale and replace her (because every inanimate object in my life is a her) with the new one. there you have it - i weigh just under 145.0 lbs. and there ain't nothing that bitch of a scale can do about it! don't think i've had a weigh in this exciting since i first started focusing on my body about 3 years ago (back then the scale was closer to 175.0 lbs.)

moving on, moving on. weekend was pretty uneventful. my sister's prom was on friday and i helped her with the after party at our place. fun, but i can think of a more exciting things to do than host 30 18-year olds between the hours of 1 am and 4 am in the morning. feel as though i went above and beyond the sisterly requirements on that one (did i mention i made them food?) saturday was spent lounging around most of the day and yesterday i had a family commitment which took up most of the afternoon. one of my best girl friends from high school came over to watch a movie last night and we picked a real oscar-winner - sydney white starring amanda bynes. again, more evidence i should write for the tween market. i have to admit, though, amanda bynes is pretty damn funny. and (dare i say it?) real!

i've been dreaming about my ex-boyfriend a lot these days and i'm really missing him. usually i'm very comfortable with the decision i made to end things with him, but today i'm not. it's making me feel a little mopey and even a bit sick to my stomach. i hope these feelings are mostly due to my move back home - life at home is much calmer than life at school. i know he's gone now, but i just wish i could hold him one last time. i want to know how he's doing - did he get on the project he wanted at work? did he end up running the boston marathon? did he beat "hard" on guitar hero (which i gave him, might i add)? it's only been 5 weeks or so - i shouldn't beat myself up for still having these feelings. but i do miss him and right now i want to reach out to him more than ever. i know i can't. it wouldn't be fair to either of us.

enough to the negative nancy talk, on to what i plan on eating today:

1/3 cup quaker 1-minute oats (2)
1/2 tbsp. natural peanut butter (1)
1 medium orange (1)

3 oz. turkey breast (2)
1/4 cup canned chickpeas (1)
1 tbsp. dressing (1)
2 slices weight watchers bread (1)
loads of 0-point vegetables (0)

1/2 cup plain yogurt (1)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened berries (0)
6 almonds (1)
1/2 cup nature's path optimum slim (1)

total is 12, leaving 11 to play with for the rest of today. even though i was planning on taking today off from working out, i think it might help my emotional state if i break a sweat. so that's my goal for today - work out to get a load off!

back in toronto

the past few days have been a blur: had my last night out at university (actually this time), moved back home, cleaned and gutted my apartment, etc. not to mention all of the good byes! for someone who has been "ready" to leave university for the past few months, i got pretty emotional about it all. i was especially sad to leave my roommate and our mutual best-friend nem (code name). good thing my roommate is still my roommate, as we're moving out together in the fall again. i would miss her too much!

life at home has been, well, life at home. hung out with my new roommates tonight (by this i mean my mom and dad). wasn't all that bad - had my frist home-cooked meal in a long time! and my mom's a chef so you know it was delicious. mmm, got to love her fajitas!

slipped up on both monday and tuesday. ugh! i was doing really well on both days until about 9 pm. on monday i got super drunk, so of course all rational decision making went out the window. and yesterday i thought to myself, "you deserve a treat after these four years of hard work", so i ordered a cookie sundae for dessert when i went out to dinner with my mom and rooms. at least we shared it 3 ways! ahhh, still came home and had a mini feast on ice cream. god, i love ice cream.

anyways, back on track today. i've only had 16.5 points to eat so far today, and am wondering how i'm going to get to 23 in the next 3 hours. i wish i had this problem all of the time. i'm thinking of making myself a peanut butter and banana smoothie. two of my favorite things in the entire world blended until drinkable = phenomenal. also, i got in a great workout today - 30 mins running intervals at the gym (total of 3.25 miles) and 20 mins on the stationary bike. i walked up a storm shopping, but am not going to count that as activity. with 2 weeks until i leave, i mean business!

here's what i've had to eat today:

1 egg (2)
1 whole wheat tortilla (1)
little of bit of lettuce and tomato (0)
1 source yogurt (1)
1/4 cup fresh raspberries --> another perk of being home is the fresh fruit (0)

6 pieces salmon sushi (3.5)
1 green salad with 1 tsp dressing (1)

1 grande iced coffee with 2 pumps sugar-free mocha syrup and splash of skim milk (0.5)
1 large apple (2)

3 oz. chicken (2.5)
1 tsp olive oil (1) --> my mom says that she only used 1 tsp for the entire thing, but she looked a little a shifty when she said it...
1 whole wheat tortilla (1)
1/4 cup salsa (0)
1/2 cup plain yogurt (1)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened raspberries (0)

total is 16.5 points. practically a miracle. i don't know how this happened. it's as if my body is saying, "stop eating you gluten you!" i don't know why it's not hungry. i'll forever remember today as "the day i just wasn't hungry". i doubt i'll ever have a day like today again. i'm perpetually hungry/wanting to eat.

anyways, enough about my crazy day. as already mentioned, i went shopping for some cute numbers for my trip. i would post pictures of what i bought, but can't seem to find any online. i got 3 light-weight jersey dresses: 1 royal blue, 1 bubble-gum pink, and 1 brown. the brown one is stunning, if i do say so myself. it's got all of this braided detailing... aaamazing. also picked up a cute high waisted skirt and a pair of shorts. ok, perhaps not the most practical things, but i need to look nice when i go out!

oh, and mr. new zealand sent me an email saying that he's booked and paid for all of his flights. crazy to think that he's actually coming with me for part of my trip! and to think that this is the same guy i meet all those weeks ago. hubba hubba, he is sooo dreamy (disclaimer: i do not, in fact, write for tween magazines, although i definitely have the vocab to). strange how the world works sometimes.

yesterday i slippped up...

... and today i'm putting it behind me. but before i move on, i think a quick recap of what went down is in order.

had 12 daily points remaining around mid-afternoon (had even said no to the candies being passed around the exam i was proctoring!) started drinking around 4:30 pm. made smart drink choices - had a few bud lights and coors lights - but still ended up getting completely smashed. so by the time dinner rolled around, i was in no state of mind to make healthy choices. we went for greasy pub fare and i had the chicken sandwich with - get this - a salad! that's right. in my state of oblivion i some how managed to say no to the fries and yes to the veggies. i even ordered my dressing on the side. i think that calls for a freaking award or something. but unfortunately, friends, i didn't stop there. one of the girls we went out to dinner with didn't want the rest of her quesidilla so i had 1/3 of it. gross! i mean, where was the willpower when i really needed it? ugh. went back to my house to make some jello shooters and to get ready for the bare. had a few jello shooters and some cereal to, as i rationalized, "slow the absorption". bad move. anyways, ended up sobering up before the bar and decided to stay in instead. so that's it. the end of my drinking days at university. blah!

ok, so back to moving on. today i will not, i repeat, will not go over my daily points limit of 24. and i'm going to go for a run outside - it's such a beautiful day after all!

planning ahead

to prevent myself from going over daily points + activity points, i've decided to plan my menu for the rest of the day:

breakfast - total 3.5 points
1 scoop whey powder (2)
1/2 cup vanilla sogood soy milk (1.5)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened raspberries (0)
crushed ice (0)

snack 1 - total 2.5 points
1/4 cup skim milk (0.5) in coffee (0)
1 all bran bar (2)

lunch - max. 5 points
salad and protein of some variety --> most likely 3 points for protein, 1 point for topping, 1 point for dressing

snack 2 - total 3 points
1/3 cup quaker 1-minute oats (2)
1/2 tbsp. peanut butter (1)

dinner - total 5 points
1 tsp. olive oil for cooking vegetables in (1)
3/4 cup whole wheat cooked pasta (2)
1/3 cup veggie ground round (1)
1/2 cup canned tomato sauce (1)

snack 3 - total 1 - 3 points
options: 1 orange (1), 1 bag smartpop popcorn (1), 1 carnation hot chocolate (1)

planned activity - running for 30 min. outside (4)

daily points total is 19 (no snack 3 options) - 22 points (all snack 3 options). will be going out tonight, but am not going to drink more than 3 light beers (5.5 - 6.5 points depending on the brand). mini goal for today is to stay away from the cereal!

in related news, i'm moving back to toronto on monday, so am busy packing up my life for the past 4 years. looks like i'm going to have to throw a lot of stuff out - there's no way i can take everything back to my parent's house. also, have been busy planning my trip through asia and oceania. i'm getting so pumped! mr. new zealand will be joining me for at least the last 2 weeks of it, which i'm very excited about. i guess those crazy kiwis have a break from school next week, so that's when we're going to finalize most of the details. however, i'm not going to get my hopes up about him - i'm going into this assuming that we're friends and nothing more. if something happens, great, but if nothing happens, that's great too. as i've mentioned in my past posts this trip is about me and no boy (no matter how funny, smart, or good-looking he is... ok, maybe i have a little crush) is going to get in my way. god, i feel like that line came straight out of a destiny's child song (can i get all the ladiesss who're independennnt to throw - their - hands - up - at - meee?!)

stuffed

going to keep this quick, as i am about to go to bed. day was going really well eating-wise until after dinner munchies hit. damn you kashi golean crunch cereal! you are too delicious to resist. pair that with some vanilla soy milk and you have yourself a passionate duo. throw some berries in there and... no more food thoughts for me. the end. so, all in all, didn't meet the goal i set for myself yesterday, but made improvements nonetheless.

what i consumed today:

1 scoop whey powder (1)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened berries (0)
1/4 cup astro fat-free vanilla yogurt (0.5) --> grocery store was out of source
1/3 up vanilla sogood soy milk (1)

1/8 cup vanilla sogood soy milk (0.5) in coffee (0)

1 orange (1)

3.5 oz. cooked skinless chicken (3)
2 cups broccoli (1)
2 slices ww bread (1)

3/4 cup astro fat-free vanilla yogurt (1.5)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened raspberries (0)

1 orange (1)
7 almonds (1)

1/8 cup 2% milk (0.5, but have to double check this)
2 oz. chicken (2 + 2 for 1 1/2 tsp. oil) on green salad (0) with 1/2 tsp. olive oil (0.5) from milestone's

1/3 cup quaker instant oats (2)
1/2 tbsp. peanut butter (1)

1 hot chocolate (1)
1 bag smartpop! (1)

1 1/2 cups kashi golean cereal (6.5)
1 cups cup vanilla sogood soy milk (3)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened berries (0)

in total ate 33 points. blah! earned 4 activity points from the gym, so used 5 flex points. double blah! have 24.5 flex points left for the week. most likely going out tomorrow, which means i will have to be extra careful with my eating.

also, for some point-related q's: when you order at restaurant, how much oil do you assume your food is cooked in? i never know how much to add (usually guess 1 1/2 tsp. to 1 tbsp. depending on how greasy i think the food is). how many 0-point items can you eat per day? and, lastly, when you eat the same food throughout the day, do you add the points value for that food to a running tally (as in, 1 1/2 cups of raspberries is 1 point) or count the servings separately throughout the day (3 1/2 cup servings of raspberries is 0 points)? i would appreciate any advice you have!

who would have thought 4 little falafel ball-things would be 7 points?!

question of the day. i went for mediterranean food with my roommate and ordered what i thought was a low-point option. imagine my frustration when the lunch i budgeted 8 points for came in at a whopping 13! argh! on a positive note, i went to my second yoga class today. i really didn't want to go, but am glad that i went. i felt strong and toned afterwards. i plan on incorporating yoga into my weekly workout schedule.

today's menu:

1 egg (2)
2 slices ww bread (1)
1 tbsp. blue menu jam (0)

1/3 cup quaker 1-minute oats (2)
1/2 tbsp. peanut butter (1)

1 large white pita (3)
1/4 cup homemade hummus (3)
4 falafel patties (7) --> typing this makes me so angry

1 starbucks fancy-pants drink (4)

1 cup whole wheat pasta (3)
1/3 cup veggie ground round (1)
1 tsp. oil (1)
1/2 cup tomato sauce (1)
oodles of veggies (0)

1/2 cup astro fat-free vanilla yogurt (1)
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened raspberries (0)
1/2 cup golean crunch (1.5)

total is 31.5 points. in retrospect, should have looked up points values of mediterranean food before lunch and should not have ordered such a fancy pants drink mid-afternoon. my goal for tomorrow is not to go over my daily points limit + activity points.

managed to stay on track last night despite going out with friends for beers and wings. only had 3 beers, so i got a little tipsy (yup, i'm a huge light weight), but not too drunk. it was great! i felt in control the entire time. didn't even touch the wings.

stepped on the scale around mid-day and my weight was already back down to 148 lbs. phew! don't know what happened on monday morning. must have been massive water retention (did drink like a fish over the weekend and went for vietnamese food on sunday night). i should readjust my points limit downwards (when i take the quiz at 148 lbs. it says that i should only be eating 23 points per day), but i've decided not to until next week. i'm used to eating about 25 points per day and think that a 2-point cut might be too hard for me, especially since i plan on working out more than usual.

and lastly... biggest loser finale was on tonight and ally won it all! amazing! first female biggest loser ever. great inspiration for the beginning of my very own personal weight challenge!