a quickie

1. i binged today. although not huge. it was a 2 out of 10, or a fender bender if you will. hopefully my fender won't be bending outwards anytime soon. does that make sense? whatever. i had: 1 medium sugar-free yogen fruz with raspberries and blueberries (leave it to me to cave into my ice cream craving on 1 of the coldest days of the year), 2 cups grapes, 2 clementimes, and 12 Quality Street chocolates. to note: this did take place over the course of 3 hours, in the midst of which i made the 50 minute walk home from my friend's pad. also to note: friend is female. i am still very much alone in this winter wonderland.

2. 10 points left until sunday. cocktail party after work tmrw. one of my best friend's birthdays on saturday. twilight tickets for sunday. can i do it? why, yes i can! plan of attack: earn 3 activity points at tomorrow's workout to cover 1 glass of wine at cocktail part; earn 5 activity points on saturday via heavy-duty cardio to allow for 6 drinks at night (total 12 points - have to leave some room for a snack somewhere along the way); and, smartpop-it on sunday (besides, i'll be too busy drooling during the movie to eat).

3. i'm jealous of my friends with boyfriends. when it's winter, all i want is a boyfriend. and not just because my birthday and xmas fall within 2 weeks of each other (ca-ching, ca-ching! ahhh jeeze, givemeabreak - i'm kidding!), but because when it's cold outside, and i'm cold inside (dbc factoid of the day: i have poor circulation, which means i'm shivering even when it's sweltering out), all i want to do is snuggle up with someone by a fireplace and drink cocoa. not that this ever happened in my last relationship, or the 1 before that, or... ever really. but when i DO meet the perfect guy... well, you now know what we'll be doing when it's blizzzarding out. and it will be magical. and 150% non-sexual ;) because that's what perfect people in perfect relationships do right? right? no? you mean their virgins? stopping now...

4. i'm still being slammed by work.

5. my aunt is doing better - fingers crossed!! i. love. you. healthy thoughts your way.

6. my sugar high from 1,789,578,234 candies i had is starting to wear off and now i have a headache. owie!

must calm these nerves...

first of all, quick update on the goals i set out for myself yesterday. was doing great until i found out the friend i was planning on tackling hong kong with is now leaving the city earlier than expected, giving me a day or two on my own. now, if this was australia, sure, ditch me at the last second. still being a dick, but i can get by. hong kong, however? that's more intimidating. anyways, when i found this news out i pretty much dove into the pail of chipits my mother keeps around the house for baking (one of the many joys of living at home). and no, didn't stop there - i just ate and ate and ate all night. probably the worse binge session i've had in over a year. so frustrating! but i know exactly why i did it: i'm getting nervous for my trip and am trying to comfort myself with chocolate and chips and pizza and... (yes, it was that bad) note to self: i'm still nervous and now i feel like a cow, too. great, just great.

yet, one positive thing did come out of this experience. i remembered that one of my friends from high school is in hong kong right now and sent her a quick email letting her know the situation. i just got an email back from her saying that she would be more than happy to show me around those days. thank you, buddha!

just finished the book "eat, pray, love" and have to say wasn't overly thrilled with it. i really enjoyed the chapter on india, and the chapter in italy was cute, but the last chapter just pissed me off. don't want to say too much here as to avoid giving away the ending, but i was not impressed. haha, guess i'm still a little bitter... (those of you who have read the book know what i'm talking about)

have, have, have to go to the gym today. i'm getting really lazy about it. and i've decided to change my "23 day challenge" to a "1 week to go!" challenge. 23 points a day is too low for me (as evidenced by my 3 day binge fest), so i'm going to aim for 24. will post my menu at the end of the day. i have to take this 1 day at a time right now - i'm feeling slightly overwhelmed!

very short, but will write more soon

for the past 2 nights i've been having mini binge fests before i go to bed. although i have been using my flex points, i need to stop this behavior before it becomes habitual. so, to nip this in the bud, i want to set 2 goals for myself today:

1. do not go over 23 daily points
2. go to bed early (before midnight)

will write more later when i have time. off to get my shots for asia!

yesterday i slippped up...

... and today i'm putting it behind me. but before i move on, i think a quick recap of what went down is in order.

had 12 daily points remaining around mid-afternoon (had even said no to the candies being passed around the exam i was proctoring!) started drinking around 4:30 pm. made smart drink choices - had a few bud lights and coors lights - but still ended up getting completely smashed. so by the time dinner rolled around, i was in no state of mind to make healthy choices. we went for greasy pub fare and i had the chicken sandwich with - get this - a salad! that's right. in my state of oblivion i some how managed to say no to the fries and yes to the veggies. i even ordered my dressing on the side. i think that calls for a freaking award or something. but unfortunately, friends, i didn't stop there. one of the girls we went out to dinner with didn't want the rest of her quesidilla so i had 1/3 of it. gross! i mean, where was the willpower when i really needed it? ugh. went back to my house to make some jello shooters and to get ready for the bare. had a few jello shooters and some cereal to, as i rationalized, "slow the absorption". bad move. anyways, ended up sobering up before the bar and decided to stay in instead. so that's it. the end of my drinking days at university. blah!

ok, so back to moving on. today i will not, i repeat, will not go over my daily points limit of 24. and i'm going to go for a run outside - it's such a beautiful day after all!

a quickie

i'm pretty swamped with work right now, so i'm going to have to keep this post quick.

i'm having a great weekend. didn't get nearly as much done as i wanted to work-wise, but had an awesome time volunteering and spending time with my friends. last night i went to watch my super good-looking friend's band play at a local pub. they're a cover band, so i spent the whole night dancing to 90s punk hits (ok, i also spent a good amount of time checking my friend out... did i mention that he's uber hot?). it was so much fun! i planned on only going to watch one of their sets and coming home around midnight to do some work, but i got pretty drunk off of cheap beer and didn't get home until 2:30 am. ahhh well, i'm still glad i went. i only have 2 more months of university, so i'm going to enjoy it dammit!

yesterday i took my lunch to volunteering with me and no one cared in the least. i was so proud of myself for turning down domino's pizza (my favorite, might i add). instead, i had a tuna wrap with cut up veggies. unfortunately i fell off the bandwagon a bit when i got home. i didn't feel like making dinner, so i had a bowl of cereal, and then another, and then a third. that's right - 3 bowls of cereal, 1 sitting. pretty sure i ate a good 1/2 box of GoLean Crunch and another 1/4 box of Nature's Path flakes. that's not even including the 1/2 carton of silk light i threw on there. but, i've decided not to beat myself up about it. too much wasted energery. i realize that this is a learning process, and that the best thing i can do is move forward and make good decisions. and that's exactly what i've been doing today.

i have 12 points left for the day, plus the 4 activity points i earned at the gym this morning. 16 points should last me to the end of the day easily.

looong day

wow. what a day. so much fun, but so much food. i think i consumed 10 billion calories today (give or a take a million or two). as i mentionned yesterday, i spent the day volunteering. both lunch and dinner were provided: lunch was a buffet of sandwiches, fruit, and tortilla chips, and dinner was a pasta bar. i made healthy choices at lunch, but fell off the bandwagon at dinner. oh, and i fell hard. in fact, it was more like my bandwagon caught on fire and exploded into thousands of little pieces. seriously - it was calorie hell. at this point in time i don't even know if there is a bandwagon for me to get back on. anyways, here's what i ate: 1 large serving of vegetarian pasta (ravioli in tomato sauce), 1 large serving of chicken pasta (cream sauce + lots of cheese = fat on my stomach), 2 bread sticks, 1 serving of salad, 5 Hershey's kisses, and 1 Chocolate Extreme Blizzard from Dairy Queen (in my defense, i ate the Blizzard a few hours after dinner). ugh! and guess how i feel right now? guilty, lethargic, and fat.

i know that the best thing i can do is to track all of my points and plan for tomorrow. i'm also volunteering tomorrow, but only until mid-afternoon (it's a 2 day committment). lunch is pizza. i'm considering bringing my own lunch so as to avoid eating it. i know that pizza is one of my trigger foods and abstaining from it all together will ensure that i stay on plan. however, i'm worried that the people holding the event will think that i'm being rude and inconsiderate by not eating the food. sometimes eating healthy can be such a social faux pas!

my getting back on track plan:

eat filling breakfast with protein:
1 egg (2)
2 ww bread (1)
1 tbsp. jam (1)
1/2 cup Astro plain yogurt (1)
1/2 cup frozen raspberries (0)
1/4 silk light with 1 cup coffee (0.5)

eat a small snack before lunch:
12 almonds (2)
1 apple (1)

plan to work out in the afternoon:
earn at least 4 activity points (30 minutes running, 35 minutes on the eliptical trainer, etc.)

sunday no-fun-day

i have a lot of work to do today. i mean a lot of work. i'm slightly stressed. i should have done more work on wednesday and thursday before i went away for the weekend. oh well, looking back on what i should have done is not going to help me get through it all today. here's is what i have to do:
1. prepare case for group meeting - due this evening
2. prepare case for class - due tomorrow morning
3. study for geob test - due tomorrow (practice test) and tuesday (actual test)
4. write negotiation paper - due wednesday morning
5. nvp - due next week (ahhh!)

actually, when i write it all out, it doesn't seem like i have THAT much to do. that being said, today is still going to be a busy day. but i'm ready for it. i've taken 2 advils, got my chai tea, and put on my study clothes (also known as super baggy compfy clothes). here i go!

before i get down to work, a little recap on my eating this weekend (after all, this is a healthy living blog!) so i didn't stay away from the alcohol on friday night. in fact, i got pretty wasted. and then i went to burrito boyz and had a delicious chicken burrito, extra spicy (yeah you heard me, i'm tough like that). saturday was not much better. in fact, it was much worse. it was my unofficial anniversary anniversary (it's this week, but we won't be able to see each other on the actual day), so i decided to celebrate by stuffing myself full of left over pizza and chips from the night before. there were even times when i remember thinking, "i don't want to eat this, i'm just eating this because it's here." ugh! that's the kind of mindset i need to break. if only i listened to my inner voice more often.

anyways, my bf and i spent our non-anniversary anniversary by going to the mall and watching a movie (we're a wild and crazy couple). we also went out for an amazing tapas-style dinner. on our way back to his place after dinner, we bought all of the fixings to make icecream sundaes, which we made right before we went to bed (not good for the waist line!) so unncessary, yet so phenomenal.

so, in summary, i feel like a big pile of crap today. a big pile of fat crap.